Insightful info. about anger

Ways to tackle bad temper
Losing your temper, getting ticked off, blowing off steam, and spouting off are phrases we use to indicate what we do with our anger. Anger is normal, usually healthy, and often useful. But in many circumstances anger could be destructive to yourself and those around you.

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Anger Check List:
Do people tell you that you need to calm down?
Are you tense much of the time?
Is it hard to tell people what is really on your mind?
Do you use alcohol or drugs to help you calm down?
Do you have trouble sleeping?
Do you feel that other people don't listen to you or understand you?
Do the people you care about tell you that you have hurt them?
Do you often feel like attacking someone either verbally or physically?
If your answer is YES to more than two of these questions, you may need to seek help in dealing with your anger.

What Causes Anger?

External events:
Somebody yelling at you or your co-worker not completing a promised task are examples of small external factors triggering you off.

Internal events:
Brooding about personal problems, remembering a traumatic event in the past, or believing someone has cheated you could lead to anger and frustration in people.
The natural way humans have always expressed anger is to respond aggressively - when you feel threatened, you respond by attacking or defending. Anger allows you to defend yourself when attacked. In reality, of course, you can't physically lash out at every person or situation that annoys you. There are laws, social norms, and common sense limits.

Dealing with your anger
Everyone has processes they use to deal with angry feelings. Successful approaches usually follow one of three paths.

Expressing
The healthiest way to express anger is to be assertive - not aggressive - in letting others know what you feel and need. Make clear what you want to have happen, don't hurt others, and be respectful to everyone involved.

Suppressing
Suppressed anger is held in, analysed, and then redirected. The aim is to convert your anger into some more positive action. It is important to make sure the anger is directed into action-holding it in too long can lead to high blood pressure and depression.

Calming down
Learning to calm down inside can help manage anger in a positive, non-destructive way. You can start learning to do this by taking a deep breath before saying or doing something you feel strongly about.

These methods work as long as you have some control over your anger. That is not always the case. Out-of-control anger is all too common. We have even developed new terms to describe this violent type of expression such as "road rage" and "going postal." What happens when you get too angry?

When you're too angry
If you are someone who has trouble controlling and managing anger, there are some things you can practice that may help. Uncontrolled anger is not good for anybody, and learning and using management strategies will make you feel better, more in control, and others will see you as less threatening.

Relaxation: Simple relaxation techniques like deep breathing, stretching, meditation, and relaxation imagery can help calm you down.

Change the way you think: When you're angry your thinking can become confused and exaggerated. Most situations do not portend the end of the world, so try to put happenings in perspective. You may be angry, but if you slow down you might find a way to solve the problem. The world is not out to get you, even though it may seem like it right now. Try to keep your thinking logical. That won't alter the reality of the situation, but may keep your anger from exaggerating the problem.

Problem Solving: In many cases your anger may be justified and can be channeled in the direction of solving the problem that triggered the anger. If there is no solution, focus on how you can cope with the situation. You can't stop it from raining, but you can open your umbrella and stay dry. Some problems can be partially solved, or maybe you can reach a compromise or consensus with another person rather than yelling at them.

Communication: It's hard to listen when you're angry, and your own statements may be exaggerated, hurtful, or aggressive. Take a deep breath and say what you want the other person to hear-they may already know you're angry. Then, listen carefully to the response. It is just as important to understand what another is saying as it is to get your point across. When you are listening and sharing feelings, it is much easier to stay calm-not to mention you improve your chances of resolving the problem.

Humour: A little laughter can help diffuse a lot of anger. When you are really angry just imagine yourself as a big inflated balloon letting off hot air as you zip around the room. Avoid sarcasm as that is just another form of showing anger. Silly humour is just fine, even if people groan at your bad puns or corny jokes. The anger will still diminish and a conversation or even a solution might ensue.

Your environment: Get away from the anger-producing situation for a while. Go for a walk, go to lunch (this works best if it is somewhere near lunch time), lock yourself in the bathroom for 10 minutes, focus on a different task for the next half hour, or anything else that will let you buy some time to calm down. A calm, rational mind and body will make better decisions.
If you're still unable to cope, professional counseling can help you learn a variety of ways to cope with, diffuse, and redirect your anger.

Maintain good health, including a healthy diet, plenty of exercise, and quality time spent with friends and family. Learning to manage and control your anger will surely make you healthier and happier for the rest of your life.