4 Qs to Ask

4 Questions to Ask Yourself in a Relationship

What do we stop analyzing once we get into a relationship?

I recently heard about the relationship trouble a very close loved one is having, and it made me realize that there are questions that people don’t ask themselves enough when they’re in a relationship. You shouldn’t stop analyzing yourself or your relationship once you become committed to someone. When you feel like you have nothing to learn, gain or change about yourself or the situation, then you’re in danger of being in a less than ideal situation that makes neither of you happy.There’s nothing wrong with asking questions of yourself and your significant other; it shows that you’re paying attention. Being aware of the situation is the first step to changing it, hopefully for the better.We can only lie to ourselves and to each other for so long and, in the end, if nothing’s done, I know from experience that you could end up blaming yourself. You may feel as though you were led completely astray from where you wanted to be and it’s too late to salvage anything.Here are four vital questions that you need to continuously ask yourself to check up on the health of your relationship.

Am I Allowing Myself to be Blind?

The above question is often a difficult one to answer because many people don’t want to admit that they know there’s something wrong. They believe that if they persevere and ignore the problem, it’ll get better. In order to get an idea of where you stand, listen to the people around you who love you. Yes, their viewpoints towards your significant other may be biased, but they could have valid reasons. Question why your loved ones look at your significant other a certain way, and you might discover that what you’d been denying for so long deep down, does turn out to be true.

Is Compromising Possible?

In situations that call for compromise, you need to assess whether or not you and your significant other are willing to compromise. If you want kids right away and your significant other wants to wait, see if you can agree on perhaps waiting, but for a shorter amount of time. Perhaps it’s an issue of finances or maybe one of you gets a job offer that would interfere with your home life. In such a situation, you have to ask yourself whether or not it’s worth adding the extra stress into your life, especially if it’s unstable to begin with. If it isn’t, it may be time to cut your losses and fold sooner rather than later as the situation isn’t going to improve overnight.

Are We Still On the Same Page?

As a relationship progresses, certain things may change. One of you gets a new job, the other one has a family health crisis that makes you worry about passing it on to any future kids you may have. Opinions on some things may change as well, but when it comes to the big issues that affect a long-term relationship, such as finances and kids, you need to be sure that you both want the same things. If your spouse or significant other was willing to have kids earlier, but changes her mind without discussing it with you, you need to figure out whether or not you’re still compatible when it comes to the larger issues. Moreover, you need to ask the other person why there has been a sudden change and if a compromise can be reached. If you’re not even reading the same book, there’s no point in wasting your time.

This last question is the most important one in my opinion. Many people believe that they have high tolerance levels and that they could put up with almost anything. Well, everyone has a breaking point, and it’s important to ask whether or not something is worth tolerating. Just because you can tolerate the fact that your wife barely cooks or cleans and doesn’t come through for you when you have long, tiring days, doesn’t mean that you should. Yes, it’s true that you need to be able to be there for and have an understanding towards the other person, but you have to consider whether or not you’re being taken advantage of or disrespected. Everyone has tough times and times when they may be more selfish than others, but if it’s consistent, you need to ask why you’re still sticking around when he or she has already slammed the door on you.

two way street

A relationship should be about give and take; it shouldn’t be all on one person. If your significant other expects your support and for you to cater to him or her constantly, you need to take a step back and ask why you continually give so much to someone who doesn’t care.