Facts about sex

this article just couldn't be any funnier......
regular sex and why women get so damn attached (ya..that'z absolutely true!)

Does a couple’s frequency of sex steadily diminish over the life of a relationship? Or are periods of increased activity common among couples?

Like in their forties maybe. I hope.
Don’t hope. If I learned anything at all from Jenna Bush’s wedding, it’s that hope is for losers. Somewhere around the three-year mark, couples become satiated with the lust phase of a relationship and, invariably, join bowling leagues. However, David Schnarch of the Marriage & Family Health Center of Evergreen, Colorado, insists that his couples “commonly report having the best sex in their later years of life.” Perhaps in Evergreen, but in the rest of the world, your best hope is to shake things up. “Any situation in which you get an overall body push of adrenaline and hormones helps generate sexual urge,” says Pepper Schwartz, author of Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love, and the Sensual Years. “Often after an exciting or scary thing, people reassure themselves with sex.” Also, many couples report more frequent and better sex after a spot of infidelity, so, while you locate a wife-swapping paintball group in your area, keep in mind what Helen Fisher, author of Why We Love, says: The frequency of sex early in a relationship is abnormally high. “Then you go down to what’s normal.” That’s right, hopeless.

Why all the emotional investment in sex? Why aren’t women programmed like we are?

Well, Professor Higgins, our brains have a larger emotional region than the male brain, which, meanwhile, has gone ahead and cultivated what’s called a “sexual-pursuit center” that is not only 2 to 2.5 times larger than a woman’s sexual-pursuit center but also has an Apple store, ample parking, and a trolley. This big center causes him (you) to seek out sexual pleasure and multiple partners first and foremost. Additionally, girl brains discharge far more oxytocin (a bonding hormone linked to estrogen and often found on stolen prescription pads), which is to blame for this silly attachment after sex, whether she wants it or not. “The circuitry is evolutionarily built,” says Dr. Louann Brizendine, neuropsychiatrist and author of The Female Brain, “and it’s been in place for millions of years.” Biologically, the female brain won’t risk impregnation by someone who won’t be around to raise the offspring. Male brains release oxytocin, too, but just enough to usher out semen. It only hangs around for about four minutes, or until the woman does something like talk. “For women, the consequences of sex are much greater than for men,” says David P. Barash, coauthor of The Myth of Monogamy. “It’s just what your grandmother said!” Speaking of whom, my grandma’s got a big bottle of oxy. We could work something out. Bring cash.

You’re asking the wrong woman, but I suspect it’s because the right women are too caught up in the demands of their environmental blogs or polygamous sects, or whatever it is they do, to pay you much attention. I’m probably wrong, so let’s turn to a few relationship experts, or “relationsperts,” for some help. "To put it in really simple terms,” says psychologist Michelle Callahan, or “Dr. Michelle,” as she’s called around the daytime-talk-show ghetto, “it’s kind of like the difference between thinking with the big head or thinking with the little head.” (I’m awaiting clarification on this puzzling statement, but neither Rachael Ray nor Tyra Banks is very good about returning texts.) Nonetheless, the ‘sperts seem to agree that your sexual tastes form when you are just a wee lad, and the cure is “literally forcing” yourself to pursue a different type by first changing the settings in which you lurk for dates. An example: The better women don’t hang around the methadone clinic; they get their dose and leave, as you should. And don’t fret about the prospect of life with someone to whom you’re not so attracted: Studies done in India have found that couples in arranged marriages report satisfaction levels equal to or higher than those in love marriages. So I’ll go ahead and book your passage to Calcutta. Or you could just aim for the girl with the biggest breasts. You’ll never regret it.