Only 5% of Your Friends

Bro James just showed me an article called "Only 5% of your Friends are in control of Your Destiny," it reassured my personal view on friendships. (the article is pasted below)

Have you ever thought about how many people we would meet in a lifetime, and how many of them actually ended up became our "buddies."

With the most intellectual people, they choose friends wisely. I'm sure there are some kinds of people that are attractive and friendly that you just can't resist not to befriends with them. However, the selection is still up to you and I whether this person is the kind of friend that we want to stick to.

In Chinese old saying..there's "物以類聚，人以群分，近朱者赤,近墨者黑" literally translation means people tend to separate in groups in terms of similarity, and one is closer to red then he will become red, if one closes to ink then he will become black. In English, the closest idiom is he that touches pitch shall be defiled. This tends to emphasize the importance on the effects of our surroundings.

I mean it's nice to have lots friends, but it can be quite time consuming when it comes reaches that you have different priorities in life..as we get older people tend to have different focus and purpose. Some may intend to develop more on their business side, perhaps it is more time efficient to spend time with those that may be useful to expanding his career. Which is why I always think do I become a better person when I hang out with someone, or this person has bad habits that would make me want to avoid them? Likewise, I reflect on myself thinking whether people become a better person when they're with me. Do they become more like me and think like I do? I have to say sometimes this influence is something you do intentionally, because not everyone likes to be changed or always carry the thought that there's something that they need to be improved.

Likewise, for those that want to stay thin..do not hang out with those who think staying in shape is not important. I was quite surprised to read that everyone has 250 friends, and 80% of them are useless. Surely, it can be quite fun to hang out with them sometimes.

From the article below, it mentioned that there are 20% of friends that will bring positive impacts to us, yet only 5% will actually help us in changing our entire life. Therefore, it would be unfair to treat all friends equally, because the 5% of of friends should deserve the 80% of our time. In this world, human relationship will not go beyond 6 people in terms of interrelationships. Carefully think about what are the pros that you bring to people? Can you write someone a letter and let them know what kind of influence you will be able to give?

Cherish and find out.....who belongs to the 5% and make your time for them ASAP!


命運掌握在5%朋友手中 (Your Destiny withholds in the 5% of Your Friends)

安東尼羅賓說：「想要減肥的人千萬不要跟胖子在一起」；喬吉拉德說：「每個人都有 250位朋友，80%對你毫無幫助。」

每個人都有朋友，你能吸引什麼樣的人成為你的朋友，是否能悟透近朱者赤、近墨者黑的道理？

2002 年4月，我到新加坡去參加全球暢銷書「富爸爸窮爸爸」作者羅勃特 .T.清崎的理財課程，來回機票加上住宿和課程費用，大約花新台幣39萬元。羅勃特 .T.清崎在第一堂課就令我的印象十分深刻，他是全世界最會教導別人如何理財的大師，學員來自馬來西亞、新加坡、中國大陸和台灣、日本，大家十分興奮的準備聽他分享理財最重要的第一個關鍵，羅勃特 .T.清崎要每個人寫下十位和自己最親近的朋友，大家感到一陣子的莫名，接著羅勃特.T.清崎要大家寫下這十個人的財務狀況，把所知道的一切詳細的寫下來，包括：他們有多少存款、多少房子、車子、每個月收入多少、有多少負債等，再寫下他們跟你聊天時談到他們對金錢的看法。 Attended a seminar by the author of Rich Dad, poor Dad. He asked everyone to write down 10 of your closest friends, and lists out their savings, houses, cars, monthly income, debts, and their personal views in finances.

聽一堂課值39 萬 (A Lesson worths of $390000)

在場來自於五個國家 300多位學員就認真的寫作業，羅勃特.T.清崎每隔 5至10分鐘就要大家再寫多一點，就這樣寫了將近一個小時，終於把這十位親近之人的財務狀況寫完了。羅勃特 .T.清崎問「現在各位知道為什麼了吧？」大家搞不懂他所指的意思，互相轉頭看了一看，羅勃特接著說：「你是否發現你和所寫的人財務狀況差不多呢？」大家才猛然的覺醒，真的耶！資產 100萬元的人，他的朋友們大約也是100萬元；有一間房子的人，他的朋友們也大多有一間房子；而使用信用卡循環利息的人，他的朋友們幾乎都處於負債的邊緣或狀態。

接著羅勃特要大家分組，彼此就剛剛所寫來的內容加以討論自己的心得，原來他所要傳達第一個最重要的觀念就是中國古老的重要思想， 「物以類聚，人以群分，近朱者赤，近墨者黑」。

醫生的朋友們，通常也都是醫生； TAXI司機的朋友，通常也都是TAXI司機；億萬富翁他們的朋友，通常也都是億萬富翁；當老闆的人，他們的朋友通常也是一位老闆；言語和思想的傳染力是極為驚人的，你會抽菸，因為你的朋友拿菸給你抽；你買賓士車，因為你公司的主管或同事也買賓士車；你為什麼會去讀 MBA？因為你的兄弟姊妹或朋友也讀MBA ；你為什麼渴望有百萬或千萬年薪？因為你看到身邊有人跟你做同一份工作，卻有如此耀眼的成績。

安東尼羅賓說：「想要減肥的人千萬不要跟胖子在一起」，因為一個人之所以會成為胖子就是他高興的時候吃、心情沮喪時也吃、忙碌的時候想吃、無聊的時候更是不停的吃，若你跟他在一起，一定會受到他的影響，那你的瘦身計畫就不可能成功了！

金氏世界紀錄中銷售紀錄保持人喬吉拉德說：每個人都有 250位朋友，他們分別出現在兩種場合，一個是你的婚禮，一個是喪禮。而這些朋友有80%是對你毫無幫助。 One of the Genness Record sales mentioned everyone has 250 friends and they separately show up in 2 settings: your wedding and funeral; yet 80% of these friends have use to you.

有20%的朋友，他們是屬於較積極的，會給你正面的影響，而有5%的朋友則會幫助你，重大改變你的一生！ 所以，你對朋友們不該一視同仁，你應該花80%的時間跟那些會重大影響你一生，那 5%的朋友在一起。


當我們都討論完那篇「與我們最親近十位朋友的財務狀況」後，羅勃特說：若我們想要改善我們的財務狀況的話，那一年至少要做一次檢討，每隔一年要重新寫下我們最親近的十位名單，因為 要花多少時間和別人相處，是我們可以自己確定的。

然而我們的朋友同樣是我們自己所選擇的，想想看，若你身邊的十位朋友，他們不是身價億萬就是千萬，那過五年之後，你的身價會是多少呢？也許你會問：「我那麼不起眼，我只是一個小角色，那些身價千萬、億萬的富翁為什麼和我交往呢？」是的，大多數人都不習慣跟比他成功或比他富有的人在一起！但若你想要改變你的財務狀況，那你就會想辦法多結交一些會賺錢、會規劃自己財務的人為朋友。通常一位企業家或億萬富翁他們最想結交的朋友，除了其他的企業家之外，就是律師和會計師或財務顧問，不然就是醫生，因為 有錢的人會喜歡跟有知識、有專業的人在一起，因為這樣有錢的人會變得有知識，而有知識的人也會變得有錢。

所以你可以列下，在你周遭有哪些人你渴望認識他們或者他們已經認識你的人，將名單列下來，不僅僅只關於財富，像有哪些人特別有自信、有魅力，哪些人婚姻特別令你羨慕、哪些人活的既健康又快樂，你可以從「請教」他們開始，你可以這樣說：您好！我是某某人，我聽我一位朋友提起，您在某方面有過人的成就，是否能請教您最重要的三個關鍵是什麼呢？我是否能請您用餐？你最喜歡哪間餐廳？大多數的人都喜歡跟別人分享他們的成就，當你能認同他的成就，甚至點頭做筆記、帶錄音機去錄下你們談話的內容，我相信你會獲得超乎你想像的結果！

創業致富與吸毒之間

美國人際關係權威哈維麥卡說：「在這地球上，人與人之間的關係不會超過六個人之間的相互關係」，仔細想想你能帶給別人什麼好處？你能替想認識的人拍張照片或畫張畫了解他的目標，替他收集他喜歡的相關資料嗎？你能寫信給他，讓他知道他帶給你什麼樣的影響嗎？ In this world, human relationship will not go beyond 6 people in terms of interrelationships. Carefully think about what are the pros that you bring to people? Can you write someone a letter and let them know what kind of influence you will be able to give?

因為我們是非常容易受朋友影響的，朋友總是會影響我們「看什麼樣的書」、「去哪裡旅遊」、「買什麼樣牌子的音響」、「是去打高爾夫球、打橋牌或打麻將」、「做什麼樣的工作」、「買什麼樣的車、以及跟誰買車」、「介紹其他的朋友互相認識」、「一個月該賺多少錢」、「做什麼樣的生涯規劃」、「進行何種投資理財」、「參加什麼樣的團體或活動」、「做什麼生意或參加標會」。 We are easily influenced by the people surrounded us such as the kinds of book, where to travel, should purchase which brand of audio, should play golf or poker/majan, what kind of job, buy what kind of car, monthly salary, what kind of financial planning, investments, should attend what kind of activities, should involve in which kinds of business.....etc.


伍思凱有一首非常成功的歌叫「分享」，有一段歌詞是：「與你分享的快樂，勝過獨自擁有至今我仍深深感動…」，請問你的朋友究竟都「分享」些什麼給你呢？他們的「分享」對你造成什麼樣的影響？你是否深刻的感受到我們的命運掌控在朋友的手裡？

盡一切可能多認識 〝對〞的人! 你會越來越rich & happy ^_^